Those who know me (personally or professionally) have probably noticed that I’m an impatient person. This is both ironic and predictable: like other Generators (in Human Design), my Strategy is to WAIT to receive.  So… I’m designed to be receptive (which is in alignment with the divine feminine principles of wisdom, ordering, and receiving).  What all Generators want is satisfaction – more than peace (Manifestors) or success (Projectors) or even happiness (Reflectors).  We want to be satisfied in our work, at home, and in relationships, and when a Generator is not being her true self, operating according to her design, she rapidly gets frustrated.   That is also a default setting, and one we all struggle with as Generators.

Now, if a person is attuned to frustration, or focused on frustration, then s/he will keep creating situations that involve frustration.  It’s part of that intolerance/addiction/allergy trifecta. As my first nutritionist said, if the person doesn’t know what s/he is allergic to, he first checks their cravings. The system maintains a creative tension between wanting and not-wanting. The same tension exists with the situations and issues that drive us nuts on a psychological level.  It’s always worth noticing what triggers you to a state of rage, or frustration, or grief, or whatever your mental/emotional default might be – and to resolve those buttons so that you no longer have to waste your time and energy with nonproductive reactions, and can be restored to choice. That’s what Geotran is all about: restoring your choice instead of being at the mercy of automatic patterns, habits and addictions, which can be yours or another’s.

Now, being impatient or tending to frustration is neither better nor worse than any other negative pattern, such as rage, lack, loss, sorrow, or whatever.  It’s part of my grain, and I’ll probably be working with it or the rest of my life.  At the same time, it’s not helpful or productive, and it is stressful.  The cascade in the mind and body produced by stress is definitely bad for the physical health and for the psycheas a whole (meaning how and what you think, feel, believe, and desire).  A small amount of stress can push us into productive action;  however, we quite quickly reach the point where toxic stress leads to exhaustion and adrenal breakdown, one of the key components of ‘mystery ailments’ like Epstein-Barr and other auto-immune problems.

The irony of this timing-frustration-stress equation is that we are constantly being told (and know from our own experiences as humans) that divine timing is a crucial part of how we co-create with Spirit.  My dear little Generator self starts to whine and complain at this point:  “You mean I have to wait?!  AGAIN?!  <sigh> And yet, and yet… when I do relax, turn it over (whatever ‘it’ is:  a  project, a plan, a relationship) and let it happen in its own time/timing, then life truly does work more smoothly, with greater creativity and far less stress.  Anything else is like looking at the tulip bulbs I’ve just planted and yelling, “Grow, dammit!”

I constantly get to remind myself that God is not the principal in a Catholic School, withholding some plan or blessing ‘for my own good’, or to make a point, or to strengthen my character.  God can useapparently negative circumstances, but never imposesthem.  The reality is that there is a higher perspective with longer-term plans and more imagination than I can easily picture, and there are actually good reasons for some apparent delays.  If I can keep that in mind, I don’t get frustrated quite as quickly, nor do I bring on as much stress.  When I look back from a safe distance, I realize that often the end result is better than I could have achieved by myself, or than I could receive by pushing the river upstream.

I just want that good result NOW.