The Church of Chocolate is … well, it’s a thought, a dream, an internet religious fantasy, providing ubiquitous social lubrication. The Church of Chocolate sprang into being ten years ago, mainly because I’m an ordained minister without an ordinary congregation or denomination. However, I do have a passion for bringing up people’s resonance, and fine chocolate is the best and fastest way to do that — plus, nobody has to conform to any particular religious affiliation. We’re a very broad church; we embrace all forms of chocolate — although we do draw the line at carob and other chocolate substitutes! Our motto comes straight out of Isaiah: Eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow we may diet.
Here’s the serious part: if people truly realized that God is like chocolate, we would all get along a lot better. Think about it: like chocolate, God is omnipresent, makes every situation better, adds richness, depth and complexity, and brings up everyone’s resonance and vibration. It’s all about having a delicious life! Click here for more about the Church of Chocolate and click HERE to join our page on FaceBook.
To help with that, to marry the physical and spiritual levels, I make assorted chocolate truffles, each based on 72% Belgian chocolate, unsalted butter, salt and flavorings:
- Peppermint: flavored with mint, creme de menthe and freshly ground black pepper
- Brandy Lego bricks: self-explanatory, I imagine
- Tangerine dream: tangerine based with a dollop of vegan cream cheese laced with maple syrup and vanilla
- Maple with spiced pecans: maple and whiskey flavors, topped with pecans toasted with brown sugar and spices
- Orange: chocolate flowers with orange and Grand Marnier
- Lemon-pistachio: lemon+limoncello topped with toasted pistachios
- Pomegranate: pomegranate flavor with a good dollop of pomegranate molasses, topped with Montmorency (sour) cherries
- Honey-almond: honey, almond, and amaretto flavors, with toasted sliced almonds
- Tequila-lime: as you would imagine, sprinkled with smoked salt
- Mocha-cardamom: coffee, coffee liqueur, cinnamon and cardamom — like Middle Eastern spiced coffee, only with chocolate!
- Hot spiced rum: rum flavoring with allspice, nutmeg, cinnamon, coriander, and a dollop of molasses, finished with chilli-lime sprinkles
- Fig-anise: Fig jam enlivened with subtle anise flavor and laced with 20-year-old balsamic vinegar — sounds odd but tastes amazing!
- Ginger: ground ginger, fresh ginger, ginger flavoring AND crystallized ginger on top!
- Raspberry Stars: raspberry and a touch of pomegranate molasses
- Bourbon Street Stars: bourbon flavoring with nutmeg, molasses, and a touch of chilli, dusted with brown sugar.
- Marzipan: a base flavored with buttered rum and amaretto, topped with marzipan
And, for those who can’t eat or dislike dairy, I make several flavors with avocado and coconut oil rather than butter:
- Lime-in-the-coconut — a dairy-free truffle flavored with lime, coconut, and avocado rather than butter — surprisingly delicious!
- Mocha-cardamom — same flavorings as the usual truffle, but no butter
- Peppermint — a delicate combination of essence of peppermint, creme de menthe and freshly ground pepper!
If you live in Santa Barbara area, call 805.440.5573, or email me at DrKyreAdept@gmail.com for samples and orders!
As part of our missionary work, click HERE for some chocolate recipes.
In the meantime, here is a sonnet… because I can:
O, Chocolate (with apologies to Elizabeth Barrett Browning)
How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth of Mars
All milk and dark and toothsome bitter bars
From the near and most exotic place.
I love thee to the level of each day’s
Guittard truffles made with such delight!
I love thee unto ScharffenBerger’s night
I love thee as I sing Godiva’s praise.
With passion do I nibble on the Vosges
Valrhona taunts and tickles with the best
I love thee, Callebaut, and also Dove
Even Hershey kisses here can rest
Ferrero smiles upon my tongue and so
With bars and boxes here we make our nest.